Running a bakery left me no time to eat properly. I would eat bits and pieces all day, not even paying attention to what I was ingesting in my body. Sometimes, the stress would make me overeat, and sometimes the stress would make me forget to eat at all. My poor body, I put it through so much. I am more than grateful to it, for being so strong during our difficult times and for allowing itself to heal.
Living a stressful western life, I had to relearn the complete basics of being a person all over again, and one of those things was eating. I realized that if I didn’t change my ways the business was going to literally kill me. I could feel my insides becoming more and more toxic and acidic. I had terrible candida, but I had no idea what it was. I dived into research and fell upon others like me. And so I did it all, I cut the sugar, the wheat, and tried to stick to the candida diet. I had colonics, I did panchakarma, I made cultured vegetables, kefir. And let me tell you, that is no easy feat when you are still the owner of a bakery ( that is a whole other story for a future blog post). And of course, no one in my surrounding understood what I was doing, so I found myself eating my greens and cultured vegetables alone at home, day after day. It definitely isolated me, as a Cancer, I was ok with that. But I knew, I knew I had to do this , or something worse would be coming my way.
Today, my diet is less restricted, I can include some fruits and nuts, but I love to stick to my greens. It is still a struggle, as it still isolates me, I avoid dinner parties, restaurants, cafes, basically any social activity that doesn’t include yoga, meditation and vegetables.
It was after reading about the water experiment, by Dr. Emoto, how water reacts to positive thoughts and words and how a prayer can clean polluted water. It had me thinking about my food as well. Now, I know people have been blessing their food for eons, and I’m just catching up, and of course for me to learn, it had to be knocked into my head over and over again.
Today, when I drink or eat anything, or when I make food for someone else, or when I see a stranger on the bus eating , I say a prayer.
I send my gratitude to God for the food, and that it may be blessed to heal my body. I thank all the beings, the hands and hearts that helped to create this meal. I send a prayer to those who are going hungry, sharing my meal with them.
Of course, I still have my struggling moments, I think food has been one of my biggest life challenges, that is perhaps why the universe put a bakery in my path. There are times where I still eat too quickly, or grab some snacks without noticing, or how I can already be thinking about lunch while still eating breakfast. It was at a Vippassana retreat that I really shifted my attitude. As anyone who has done a retreat, you know that you get hungry, or at least your mind makes you think so. We had two meals a day, and it was limited, so if you were last , there was a chance that there would be nothing left. So I did my own little experiment, when the bell would ring, I would go to my room and pray. I let the universe decide if there would be food for me or not. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but trust me, when you are in a vippasana retreat , your feet move a bit quicker when it’s meal time, it became a challenge. And not to mention that the food was soooo good too!!
People often say that they cant live healthy lives, for they love food too much. If you truly love food , there is no better way to show it then through gratitude, through taking the time to prepare and to eat mindfully, and of course through sharing your food with others.
We receive this food in gratitude to all beings
Who have helped to bring it to our table,
And vow to respond in turn to those in need
With wisdom and compassion.
Beloved mother nature, you are here on our table as food. You are endlessly bountiful, benefactress of all. Grant us
health and strength, wisdom and dispassion, and help us share this with one and all.